Anonymous Mothers

I was recovering from the cesarean section of our third child, when the story of Ruth came into my hands. This woman who became an important part of the history of Israel, leaving her name and testimony reflected in the Old Testament in a book that bears her name. Her loyalty, selfless love, firm decision, and strength among other virtues stand out her. It is not surprising that a human being with tremendous qualities and who achieves extraordinary acts is remembered for generations. But this is not the case with which I identified myself. It is Orpah, Ruth’s brother in law’s wife who caught my attention (and I am very sure that none of the readers have heard of her).

I will never forget my mother’s words when she knew I was pregnant with our first child: “Life will never be the same as you become a mother”. In fact, Matthew brought meaning to our lives and of course many sleepless nights, mixed with joys, tenderness, love, hope but worry and anxiety too. And like when you erase a draft from a board and everything disappears forever, my slim disappeared, as did my hours of sleep, my flat belly, and my indulging shopping. After coming all these changes, you realize that none of this is as important as seeing your child develop and grow well. It seems selfish to think about all these things but they are part of our whole we are women and the mirror speaks to us as in the story of Snow White.

With the arrival of our second child, and then the third, a feeling of loss of my own identity embraced me. A similar feeling to what I might experience when traveling to a strange country and suddenly finding myself with no passport or identification card, no money, no car, hotel keys or map. Everything has disappeared! “And I imagine myself desperate, turning to one side and another, only to confirm that there is nothing of my belongings. Without planning and despite the advice of expert mothers (who have already seen their birds flying from their nest) we as mothers pour our lives into their lives. We watch over our kids: That they do not lack anything, that they eat well, sleep enough, that everything is normal in the doctor’s report that they smile, learn, and seek God that they do not quit at their first failure, but rather fight facing adversity…

In the story of Ruth (Ruth 1: 8-18) Naomi and her daughters-in-law (Ruth and Orpah) widowed. Naomi decides that it is not fair that they follow her to an uncertain future without a husband. Naomi told them “May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband. “Then she kissed them goodbye and they wept aloud. She thought since they are young they could find another husband to rescue them from this tragedy. Perhaps you know the story, Ruth replies heroically: “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay…” (Ruth 1: 16-17). But I want to focus in Orpah, of whom it is said: “She cries good-bye to her mother-in-law and returns to her country, to her family” (Ruth 1:14). We might want to judge Orpah as a selfish woman who preferred the comfort zone. However, I imagine her crying, suffering the fear of tribulation and the pain of surrendering a heroic life, without laurels. Perhaps Orpah simply sought the security of the known, of his family, of the ordinary life. But as we know a simple life it is not an easy life.

Thus we find women like her in the world. Woman who live an ordinary life, spending the days, months and years in anonymity, without carrying out activities that appear in newspapers or that are recorded in books. These women are faithful to daily, hidden, work, but one that is necessary, truly heroic. This constant and silent work is what is building the family, society and ultimately, the world.
Mothers who like me and many others left their professional career and do this silent work… Anonymous mothers who every day get up despite the heavy weight of an ordinary life, I want to tell you that you are also very important in building a better society.